I felt a bit all over the place during today’s practice. I started out strong. My breath was deep and steady. My body felt relaxed. My movements were in sync with my breath.
Then my lack of regular practice over the past few months showed up in a big way.
Observing the Struggles
The first thing that through me off was three-legged downward dog. Not any three-legged downward dog. No. Today Adriene asked us to pulse the raised leg, and… I’ll admit it. I panicked. I gave up. Even moving to all fours to pulse the lifted leg felt like too much. However, I did redeem myself when I switched to pulsing the left leg. I latched on to my breath, still going strong, deep, and steady. I re-centered, re-focused, and was able to maintain the pose and movement.
The second struggle was the rest of the practice. No, I’m kidding. Mostly I just struggled with Warrior II, side angle pose, and tree pose. I was a bit alarmed surprised that I struggled with these poses because they’ve never been too difficult for me. This was the first time I had to keep my big toe on the ground during tree pose. I just could not maintain my balance.Continue reading 30 Days of Yoga, Day 3: Learning to be the Neutral Observer
Wow. What an amazing, transformative practice today!
I have to admit, I was a little impatient during yesterday’s practice. But I reaped the benefits of sticking with it in today’s practice. And while that impatience creeped up once or twice during today’s practice, I felt much more mindful, patient, and aware. I surprised myself by sinking deep into poses like Downward Dog and Child’s Pose—deeper than I’m normally able to. My body was r e l a x e d and open to it. My mind was hyper present and aware but not overthinking every movement.
I think that’s what they call letting go.
Day 2’s theme is Foundation. I practiced bringing awareness to my own yogic foundation. I found that it is surprisingly strong but definitely needs some tending to. Today’s practice added a solid layer to that foundation. I also stepped off the mat feeling completely blissed out, both physically and mentally. Ah, the rewards of yoga! Continue reading 30 Days of Yoga, Day 2: Building a Foundation
You have to break the habit of thinking that the solution to your problems is to rearrange things outside. The only permanent solution to your problems is to go inside and let go of the part of you that seems to have so many problems with reality.
– Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself
The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourselfby Michael A. Singer is a heart-opening, soul-awakening guide to freeing yourself from the boundaries and limitations your habitual thoughts, emotions, and energy patterns build inside of you. Drawing from awareness-creating techniques like meditation and mindfulness, Singer explores the path to consciousness, happiness, and inner peace through the practices of letting go, staying present, and pushing out of your comfort zone.
As a continuing explorer of the inner self and someone deep in the throes of battling her own fears, anxieties, negative thoughts, and sometimes skewed mindset, I thoroughly enjoyed my journey through this book. I found so many nuggets of wisdom and gentle reminders of what life can be like when I let go of that which does not serve, stay present, eschew judgement, and live outside of my comfort zone.
Two rounds of yoga and 12 minutes of meditation had me feeling focused, productive, and zenned out yesterday. I felt extra aware of my breath throughout the day (yay mindfulness!) and noticed that my breaths were smooth, deep, and steady. A true breath of fresh air for someone who often experiences shallow breathing and a tight chest (hello anxiety!).
That’s what a weekend full of yoga, meditation, nature, and introspective journaling will do for ya!
Everyone dreads turning 30. Well, not anymore. At least that’s what social media would have me believe. Then again, even my therapist said 30 isn’t what it used to be. 30 is the new 23.
What I’m really trying to say is: I’m not in the mood to turn 30. The timing is inconvenient. Let’s press pause on this.
I thought that by the time I was 30, I’d have a career, a tribe, a greater sense of self. I thought I’d have my shit together.
I’m unemployed, on a cliff edge, staring down at a dream career, working up the nerve to jump off. I’m six months into a new city and have yet to make a single friend or acquaintance. My sense of self wavers between “Who am I?” and a sing-songy, movie-line-spewing cartoon. Most days I don’t feel like a person. I have no preference. My personality is null—an empty void. Continue reading Not in the Mood: Musings on Turning 30